WHAT ABOUT ME?

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Promotions, engagements, pregnancy announcements, sealing the deal on a new home, relocating to a dream city.


All these things were happening to friends and family.


Except me.


Don't get me wrong, I would be happy and celebrate these amazing things that were happening to my loved ones. But when I got home from that wedding ceremony or baby shower, I would think to myself then ask God "what about me?"

I began to read up on scripture regarding joy in the midst of the "waiting" season.I watched some videos from Heather Lindsey and read articles on her blog about being content and having faith no matter the season you're in.
I soon realised my mind-set HAD to change, because I would constantly be hitting a brick wall and bitterness/resentment would soon creep in.



It took me a while to realise what I am about to share. And if you get anything from this post I pray it would be this:


The next "chapter",  my "dream season" whatever it was I wanted will not heal me. It will not make me feel "complete" of fill any deep void in my heart.
Would those things make me happy? Sure, some maybe longer than others. Would those things fill a void deeper than feelings or emotions? No. Because even in those things I wanted I knew it would not always be a field or roses. Some of these things I wanted involved making lifelong commitments, I had to see myself and ask am I even ready for it?


Was I ready for what I wanted just now?


I had to get whole on the inside. I had to look at what I was making an idol in my life.


Yes it is good to have aspirations and desires but at the end of the day none of these things I want have died for my sins. None of these things are eternal.


Truth was I was wanting material things, stuff, and promotions more than I wanted God. More than the plans or timeframe He has for my life.




I had to develop and work on my peace and joy in the now.
I had to learn to be content with my season before God could possibly take me onto what He had next for me.


I am now courting an amazing man of God but beforehand I was able to say I was content even when I was single.


Why?


Because I took some time to work on myself. I took some time to work on removing that ugly seed of comparison that was in my heart.
I prioritised my relationship with God. And before I knew it I met my fiancé in church and we were both in the worship team.


It has not been easy sis. I have been there, thinking I have been overlooked and full of questions. But when we know God for ourselves; TRULY know Him. When we spend time with Him and in His word, reading and understanding that His plans and timeframe for us is best, we will not feel forgotten or anxious.


Instead we will feel thankful and excited, knowing that God is not done with our story yet. That His plans are greater than what we could ever imagine.


Praying for you and stay encouraged,


Ayanna @ She Reformed xoxo





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