MARRIAGE AFTER A BABY

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When I was pregnant, me and my husband would sit down at the end of the day and think about what our lives with the baby will be like. What our lives could be like few months and years down the line.

No doubt our lives, priorities and schedules changed once we had our daughter. 

I heard and read all the stories of couples commenting how their relationship was "never the same" once they had a child. That their professional life withers and  social life vanishes as does their freedom. 
I can honestly say from my experience even though A LOT of things are not the same (including marriage) as we have new roles besides husband and wife, I genuinely believe our relationship with our spouse CAN be better and healthier than it ever was. Change does not have to be negative. 

When we were preparing for the baby's arrival, me and my husband talked about having realistic expectations as a couple. We made a decision that our marriage cannot take a backseat or no longer be made a priority just because we have a child.

Friend, it is so important to water the areas in our lives that we don't want to die out.

So for example, date nights are still possible and something that isn't (and shouldn't) be thrown out the window when you have a baby. Now more than ever we have to be intentional with our time and prioritise what is / isnt important so we can fit quality time together in on a frequent basis. 

Our marriage cannot be neglected.

I remember a couple from a talk me and my husband listened to say this:

THE GOAL IS FOR OUR MARRIAGE TO OUTLAST RAISING OUR CHILD

Family therapist David Code also talks about how the greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage. 

Yes, we are busy and sometimes sleep deprived, yes it might seem like all we are is "mum" or diaper changer but we are also still wives and it is still so important to stay connected and intentional with our spouse. 

Yes, there are so many changes that comes with having a baby, but one thing that can change for the better is our marriage. What a season!

I really hope this helps and can be of some encouragement if you are about to enter this new and exciting season of parenthood. 

Chloe @ SheReformed x 

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